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Author: @theTheoryofMia

Lately I am finding that social media is worse than the sticker shock that I get when I go shopping at the mall.  I am more often now than before gasping at the shit streaming through my feed.  And it does not matter what social media platform that I am on.  At least once a day, one of them is guaranteed to hurdle me into that “what the fuck and why” moment.  It seems that nothing is sacred or personal anymore.  And lawd knows it sure isn’t just done behind closed doors no more either.  I mean, what won’t people do for a click or a like and please don’t let there be a chance that they can get a follow out of it, things will really start to get interesting and downright unpredictable.  I try to do my best not to comment on some of the senseless photos and post that I see sometimes but there are times that I cannot help but take pause and comment “WHY?!” and move on.  Other times I just stop following or delete your ass because you make me want to throw up my insides.

 

What are we doing people?  Why are y’all posting sex videos and naked pics on a public platform that young impressionable minds have such easy access to.  Is it that you are just too damn stupid and need so much attention that you just don’t care?  You apparently don’t care about those young impressionable minds that are going to be traumatized by your dumb bullshit.  But of course, there is not much innocence on social media any way. Everything or at least most things seem to be “cover your eyes and close your ears kinda stuff”.  There used to be a time when people would dare not tell or show anyone outside of their own four walls and your bedroom closet half of the crap I see on social media nowadays.  But, I guess everybody is just desensitized to the things that I find offensive.  I would like to think that it was that simple, but I am not buying that or accepting that as my truth.  Shame on those of us that are so desperate for attention and human interaction that we would rather post the sins of our souls and the misfortunes of others than to just pick up the phone and call a friend and say, “hey girl, hey homey” or whatever.  “What you are doing, do you want to come over and chill for a minute?”, “Let’s hangout sometimes” or just check in on one another just to say, “How are you doing?”. We don’t really do that kind of real life shit anymore.  We only communicate through our laptops and cell phones via text messages and social media posts.  And then we wonder why the fuck we always feel lonely at the end of the day.  Hell, y’all sit in a room full of people just to have shit to post on your page and all the while ain’t experiencing a damn thing around you.

 

I’ll tell you why your ass is lonely, it is because through all of that mindless bullshit, you haven’t actually seen anybody outside of that damn screen on your phone or whatever other electronic device you’re hauling around at the time.  Humans need physical interaction and real intimacy not this pretend crap that most of us are so addicted to.  Ain’t shit intimate about a damn Instagram post or an update to your profile pic.  No wonder why there are so many fucked up people in this world.  We don’t know what the fuck to do in the “Real World” any more.  If it ain’t on a lighted screen most of us are lost.  The presence of the internet has turned most of us into reflections of chaos and distortion.  I have said it once before and I will say it again, “Everybody wanna claim they woke but most y’all sleep walking and don’t even know it”.  Stop doing dumb shit for likes and posts. Fix your life y’all.  Fix your mother fucking life.  Everything ain’t got to be for a like or another re-post.  Learn to enjoy the moments in life for what they truly are.  Embrace life instead making your life just a collection of posts on your timeline that you can barely remember.

 

 

Life has taught me and is still teaching me many things.

As I grow older my value of myself and things that I encompass increases and so does the duties and the work to ensure that the ones that I surround myself with are true.

We come in contact with many people throughout our lives and we enter into various types of relationships and friendships along the way. In going through the stages of life we must learn to discern what value these interactions hold. Not every bad relationship or friendship was or will be a waste. There was and will be a lesson to be learned in the good and the bad. Some lessons are just not as obvious as others. Me mindful of the company you keep and the company you are to others for just as you can unknowingly welcome bad company to the table so can you be the bad company that showed up to be seated. At every intersection there is a choice of which direction you should go. Try to take the one that leads you to where you are welcomed and want to be when you get there.

Time is a precious thing don’t waste it chasing those that don’t want to be caught. Some people are just mirages of what you thought was worthy of an invitation into your life. Never sacrifice your joy or your future for those that would just as well stand by and applaud your pain and misfortunes.

Live, love and laugh but keep in mind that just as you want others to be to you, you should also be to others…the road travels in both directions.

Often times we come into situations and experiences with people that leave our hearts and our homes in disarray. The challenge to coming out of these experiences and situations with our sanity and not having our lives become complete and utter chaos, is learning to identify the lesson.  Making a conscience decision to find new joy on the other end.  It is not always easy and we have to want to return to our happy place bad enough to allow the healing.  I believe that people come into our lives for various reasons, some are good and some are not.  Some are meant to stay for a spell and some are meant to remain for a life time, but whatever the reason for their visit we have to be open and cognizant of the lessons the are learned while they were there.  Even in the most devastating and horrific battles of life there is the opportunity for growth and renewal, but it is up to us each individually to cease those opportunities of renewal and growth in order for the bliss and wonderful waves of renewed glory to occur.

Never let them steal your joy.

 

Love,

Mia (@TheTheoryofMia) 

 

 

I have constantly toyed with the question, “Which is more important Faith or Religion?”. I strongly believe that there is a difference between the two.  For me “Faith” has to do with how I live my life and how my morals and beliefs dictate my day-to-day actions and interactions with other people.  Whereas, Religion for me is the rituals or behaviors that I would do to enhance my Faith.

I have heard for many years, “You are a really good person, you would be the perfect Christian if you just went to church.” What the hell does that even mean?  Are they saying that me being a good person is not enough to consider me a Christian?  Is my poor attendance at church a mandatory requirement that somehow disproportionately gives me a pass or fail rating on the Christian grading scale?  I always felt that the more important part of being a Christian was how I lived my life and loved thy neighbor.  Everyone has heard the “What would Jesus do?” slogan.  Well, I believe that I do a whole lot of that and I do not feel that going to church or not going to church should be a discredit to my goodwill and my dedication to being a good person.  I have a strong belief in GOD and all that he is.  I work really hard to show that I am appreciative all the blessings that he has provided me on a daily basis and have no shame in calling his name and introducing him to others that do not know him or refuse to acknowledge his presence.  I may not go to church every Sunday but I have far less to repent for than most that do.

I believe that there is no judge as harsh as the ones that call themselves Christians.  It is sad but true.  If the bible teaches us not to judge and that that GOD is the only true judge.  Why do we (Christians) always feel the need to do so.  Is it because to look at others and place shame and call out their flaws somehow makes us feel as though we have none, or that ours or lesser in comparison?  That is silly and hypocritical at best.  I would always rather live my life as a Christian then go to church every Sunday and just pretend that I am. My Faith is far more important to me than my Religion ever could be. Therefore, I feel that to consider me any less of a Christian for my poor church attendance is just stupid.

Domestic violence is a very serious concern for me.  I have witnessed so many women that I know and love fall victim to domestic violence and I have never once thought of this as acceptable or necessary.  How can one profess their love to you and turn around and hurt you worse than any one else ever would?  Men and women that use violence, fear and intimidation to control and hurt the people that care and adore them are predators.  They prey on the weak and insecure to make themselves feel strong and powerful in situations that they cannot control.  I feel that these are weak and cowardly individuals that seized the opportunity to demean, torture and violate those that they felt were weaker than them or whose strength somehow shames them for their short comings and inadequacies. They are monsters that feed on the power they feel when they are able to cast their pain and discontent for the world on others. Their disillusions of power lead them to feel that somehow the pain and destruction they inflict on others is deserved.  And over time they become magnificent salesmen of this image and their victims believe them.

The abusers in these situations are not innocent by any means, no matter what they may want us to believe.  The word “love” should never be attached to a black eye and bruised ribs.  That, to me, is hate not love.  My heart and my anguish goes out to anyone male or female that is the victim of such a situation.  I know that a situation such as this is not easy to escape and I know I do not have all the answers, but I hope that anyone in this situation finds the strength and the opportunity to get out and stay safe.  If you are reading this and you know anyone that is going through this hell and you do nothing, you are helping the abuser to commit this awful crime.  If you see something or know something and you do nothing you might as well had done it yourself.  Please do not just stand by and be a witness to such a horrible threat to our society.  This is not a crime that should be covered up and kept a secret it needs to be exposed and eliminated.

@TheTheoryofMia

 

National Abuse Hotline: http://www.thehotline.org/

1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or for Deaf callers on video phone 1-855-812-1001 (Monday to Friday, 9 a.m.—5 p.m. PST) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.

 

Another year is coming to a close and the another year is on the horizon to bring about new challenges and new opportunities.  I feel that for me, it is always important that I take the time throughout the year and especially at the end of the year, to evaluate myself to determine if I have shown growth during the year.  I try to avoid carrying unhealthy relationships and baggage from one year to the next.  I feel that often times people limit their potential by the number of toxic people that they surround themselves with.  I choose to be vigilant in eliminating people from my circle that are only there to pollute the air with negativity and bad intentions.  Sometimes you got to know when to let go and find a better enviroment to be in.  So keeping with that mind set as each year closes I ask myself, “Is there anything that I would have done or could have done differently to make my life or the life better?”.  Is there anyone that I feel that I need to make a better impression on or build a better relationship with?  Have I been the best person that I can be given the tools that I had to work with?  Once I have gone through those questions, I place my responses into three major categories:  Things that I am willing to keep, things I need let go and things that I need to work on.

My goal is to make the list of things that I need to work on and the things that I need to let go smaller and smaller each year.  The most difficult challenge is letting things go and never picking them back up again.

@TheTheoryofMia

It seems that our justice system is tremendously flawed and in a dire need of an overhaul.  There are far too many laws on the books that are sexually biased and unfitting of today’s society and technological advancements.  It seems that most laws are created without much of a well thought out plan for the “what ifs” and “maybes” of a growing community.  In the case of rape, it appears that the plans are to protect and appease the rapist and persecute the victim of rape.  The most recent episode of “This is Life with Lisa Ling” showcased how too often the victim of rape is forced to relive her rape over and over again, while the rapist is treated with the most concern and appeasement for his feelings and undue rights.  I feel that regardless of a plea bargain or a rape classification, if a person is convicted of rape, he should not have any rights related to the child that was created from that rape.  I was very shocked when I heard of this and made it a point not to miss this episode.  There were so many emotions that poured over me while I watched these women as they told the story of their rape and how now they are forced into co-parenting and the ongoing interaction that they must endure with their rapist.  I was confused, angry, sad, confused and then angry all over again.  What were these judges thinking?  Aren’t judges allowed a certain air of common sense interjection?  Again, what the hell were they thinking?

The thing that confused me the most with this issues is: if either of those ladies were dating a man that had been convicted of rape and had a child from a previous relationship, and then decided to live with that man with her child, one could argue that she should be charged with child endangerment.  Why? Because, she brought her child into a situation that could present a threat or danger to his/her well-being.  How is this any different from allowing a man who fathered a child through rape parental rights or not to mention unsupervised visits with the child?  Are we crazy?  Does it take a genius to realize that this shit is stupid?  How is that going to affect the child later on?  While during every visit the rape victim has to pray that their child is not in any danger because there is nothing that they can do to prevent it.  With each visit they are raped all over again but this time it is by our judicial system. There has to be a better answer.

@TheTheoryofMia

 

I have really gotten aggravated by how frequently celebrities like to play us like we are simple and stupid for the sake of an album sale or a promotion to their new “whatever they are doing” when their relevancy starts to dwindle. But the the thing that gets under my skin even more than that, is the fact that some of us either are too much of a “STAN” for them, to realize what they are doing to us. Or, could they be right? Are we that damn simple?  It never fails that 9 times out of 10 when a celebrity gets us going about some random cause or a “we can do this together” movement they have a new movie coming out next week or a new album that is about to drop and they just realized that ain’t nobody really checking for their ass no more.  Celebs: stop trying to trick us into thinking that buying your shit and paying for that high ass popcorn to see your often, wack-ass damn movie you just made, is doing us a solid! All because you’ve damn bamboozled us into thinking that your ass had some damn substance.

Then of course, there is another side of this celebrity coin.  The celebrities that, for the sake of the same purpose, they could not come up with a random cause or “we can do this together” movement so they decide “Well, no publicity is bad publicity, so I am going to just say or do the most absurd and/or ridiculous thing that I can think of to get y’all dumb asses to pay attention to me again and go buy my shit”.  And unfortunately, that bullshit works every time.  Why?  Because we are just that damn simple…I guess.  We cannot find any relevance of our own, so we are just happy that someone did some shit for us to Tweet about.

This shit is sad.

@TheTheoryofMia

We need to stop trying to parent grown ass people for trying to make a living for themselves.  For the most part, there is a thin line between a stripper and a prostitute. We are wasting a lot of resources on shit that really does not hurt much more than the people participating in the act. We really need to rethink the shit that we deem legal and illegal in today’s society.  We place our priorities on the wrong things.  Let’s use our resources for stopping human sex trafficking, poverty and homelessness. I could go on and on about the many things that politicians waste time making laws for, things that actually make the problem worse because they have created a system of black market behaviors and unsafe environments that manifests criminals, violence and drug addicts.

By regulating prostitution we could very reduce sex trafficking in this country because we would in essence you would eliminate most of the market for sex trafficking and isolate the under age prostitution and those that have been forced to sale the bodies for money.  Can we please put our focus on the things that matter and protect those that need it most?

@TheTheoryofMia

When setting goals for ourselves and creating milestones, often times we get frustrated along the process of trying to achieve these goals because we have not established a separation between our “Career Goals” and our “Life Goals”.  Although they may appear to be the same, the two can be very different.  Often the two run parallel to one another but may never intersect at all.  I believe that the key to successful planning and accomplishment of your goals is to identify where you see success in your personal life and where you see success for yourself in your career.  Once you have established where you have determined your view of success is in each category, then you create milestones and from them you design plans and steps needed toward how each milestone will be accomplished.

It is very important that you do not let your emotions and personal hang ups determine the altitude of your success.  Conduct a self-inventory to identify what happiness truly means to you.  Do not, and I repeat, do not try to build your happiness and success on a template of someone else’s mark of success.

There comes a point when we may have to accept that our success may not be the success that we originally thought that it would be.  Some people get so caught up in trying to control everything and every element of their lives to the point that they think they know exactly where their success and opportunity is going to come from.  They are so caught up in the picture of success, that they fail to find success or happiness at all.  When the opportunities for success and that ultimate happiness arrives, they miss it because it was not packed quite as they would have hoped it would be.

The challenge is to be open minded and know that all plans change, and the best success in life comes when you are willing to be free to allow yourself to grow and process blessings as they come.

 

@TheTheoryofMia

 

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