TCT...

Another year is coming to a close and the another year is on the horizon to bring about new challenges and new opportunities.  I feel that for me, it is always important that I take the time throughout the year and especially at the end of the year, to evaluate myself to determine if I have shown growth during the year.  I try to avoid carrying unhealthy relationships and baggage from one year to the next.  I feel that often times people limit their potential by the number of toxic people that they surround themselves with.  I choose to be vigilant in eliminating people from my circle that are only there to pollute the air with negativity and bad intentions.  Sometimes you got to know when to let go and find a better enviroment to be in.  So keeping with that mind set as each year closes I ask myself, “Is there anything that I would have done or could have done differently to make my life or the life better?”.  Is there anyone that I feel that I need to make a better impression on or build a better relationship with?  Have I been the best person that I can be given the tools that I had to work with?  Once I have gone through those questions, I place my responses into three major categories:  Things that I am willing to keep, things I need let go and things that I need to work on.

My goal is to make the list of things that I need to work on and the things that I need to let go smaller and smaller each year.  The most difficult challenge is letting things go and never picking them back up again.

@TheTheoryofMia

It seems that our justice system is tremendously flawed and in a dire need of an overhaul.  There are far too many laws on the books that are sexually biased and unfitting of today’s society and technological advancements.  It seems that most laws are created without much of a well thought out plan for the “what ifs” and “maybes” of a growing community.  In the case of rape, it appears that the plans are to protect and appease the rapist and persecute the victim of rape.  The most recent episode of “This is Life with Lisa Ling” showcased how too often the victim of rape is forced to relive her rape over and over again, while the rapist is treated with the most concern and appeasement for his feelings and undue rights.  I feel that regardless of a plea bargain or a rape classification, if a person is convicted of rape, he should not have any rights related to the child that was created from that rape.  I was very shocked when I heard of this and made it a point not to miss this episode.  There were so many emotions that poured over me while I watched these women as they told the story of their rape and how now they are forced into co-parenting and the ongoing interaction that they must endure with their rapist.  I was confused, angry, sad, confused and then angry all over again.  What were these judges thinking?  Aren’t judges allowed a certain air of common sense interjection?  Again, what the hell were they thinking?

The thing that confused me the most with this issues is: if either of those ladies were dating a man that had been convicted of rape and had a child from a previous relationship, and then decided to live with that man with her child, one could argue that she should be charged with child endangerment.  Why? Because, she brought her child into a situation that could present a threat or danger to his/her well-being.  How is this any different from allowing a man who fathered a child through rape parental rights or not to mention unsupervised visits with the child?  Are we crazy?  Does it take a genius to realize that this shit is stupid?  How is that going to affect the child later on?  While during every visit the rape victim has to pray that their child is not in any danger because there is nothing that they can do to prevent it.  With each visit they are raped all over again but this time it is by our judicial system. There has to be a better answer.

@TheTheoryofMia

 

I have really gotten aggravated by how frequently celebrities like to play us like we are simple and stupid for the sake of an album sale or a promotion to their new “whatever they are doing” when their relevancy starts to dwindle. But the the thing that gets under my skin even more than that, is the fact that some of us either are too much of a “STAN” for them, to realize what they are doing to us. Or, could they be right? Are we that damn simple?  It never fails that 9 times out of 10 when a celebrity gets us going about some random cause or a “we can do this together” movement they have a new movie coming out next week or a new album that is about to drop and they just realized that ain’t nobody really checking for their ass no more.  Celebs: stop trying to trick us into thinking that buying your shit and paying for that high ass popcorn to see your often, wack-ass damn movie you just made, is doing us a solid! All because you’ve damn bamboozled us into thinking that your ass had some damn substance.

Then of course, there is another side of this celebrity coin.  The celebrities that, for the sake of the same purpose, they could not come up with a random cause or “we can do this together” movement so they decide “Well, no publicity is bad publicity, so I am going to just say or do the most absurd and/or ridiculous thing that I can think of to get y’all dumb asses to pay attention to me again and go buy my shit”.  And unfortunately, that bullshit works every time.  Why?  Because we are just that damn simple…I guess.  We cannot find any relevance of our own, so we are just happy that someone did some shit for us to Tweet about.

This shit is sad.

@TheTheoryofMia

We need to stop trying to parent grown ass people for trying to make a living for themselves.  For the most part, there is a thin line between a stripper and a prostitute. We are wasting a lot of resources on shit that really does not hurt much more than the people participating in the act. We really need to rethink the shit that we deem legal and illegal in today’s society.  We place our priorities on the wrong things.  Let’s use our resources for stopping human sex trafficking, poverty and homelessness. I could go on and on about the many things that politicians waste time making laws for, things that actually make the problem worse because they have created a system of black market behaviors and unsafe environments that manifests criminals, violence and drug addicts.

By regulating prostitution we could very reduce sex trafficking in this country because we would in essence you would eliminate most of the market for sex trafficking and isolate the under age prostitution and those that have been forced to sale the bodies for money.  Can we please put our focus on the things that matter and protect those that need it most?

@TheTheoryofMia

When setting goals for ourselves and creating milestones, often times we get frustrated along the process of trying to achieve these goals because we have not established a separation between our “Career Goals” and our “Life Goals”.  Although they may appear to be the same, the two can be very different.  Often the two run parallel to one another but may never intersect at all.  I believe that the key to successful planning and accomplishment of your goals is to identify where you see success in your personal life and where you see success for yourself in your career.  Once you have established where you have determined your view of success is in each category, then you create milestones and from them you design plans and steps needed toward how each milestone will be accomplished.

It is very important that you do not let your emotions and personal hang ups determine the altitude of your success.  Conduct a self-inventory to identify what happiness truly means to you.  Do not, and I repeat, do not try to build your happiness and success on a template of someone else’s mark of success.

There comes a point when we may have to accept that our success may not be the success that we originally thought that it would be.  Some people get so caught up in trying to control everything and every element of their lives to the point that they think they know exactly where their success and opportunity is going to come from.  They are so caught up in the picture of success, that they fail to find success or happiness at all.  When the opportunities for success and that ultimate happiness arrives, they miss it because it was not packed quite as they would have hoped it would be.

The challenge is to be open minded and know that all plans change, and the best success in life comes when you are willing to be free to allow yourself to grow and process blessings as they come.

 

@TheTheoryofMia

 

Why is being faithful to someone such a hard and complicated task?  People can come up with several dozen reasons on why they cheated but very few seem to be able to explain why they chose to cheat instead of just leaving the relationship.  Those that can explain when pressed, can generally only come up with selfish reasons for their infidelity.  They always had the choice to leave instead of cheating and hurting the one they “love” yet their choice was to cheat.

Is the rise in divorce and broken homes the result of our lack luster approach to relationships?  Everyone seems to go into a relationship with an exit strategy.  Even before the I dos are done and the ink is dry on the marriage certificate one or both partners have already laid out how they plan to “be okay” if this does not work out.  No one seems to be really in it for the long haul.  Relationships are work, marriages are hard work and you have to be committed to work through the pitfalls and the rainy days in order to appreciate the sunshine and drank the lemonade.

We must learn that cheating shows that you no longer respect are value the relationship that we are in.  If you know in your heart that you are not going to be faithful, then be honest with yourself and the person that you are with and don’t bamboozle them into thinking that you will be. There are way too many people that share your same lack of commitment that you can go hook up with.  Furthermore, there are too many diseases and crazy people in the world for you to be so reckless and selfish that you would put someone that has placed their heart in your hands at risk for what usually amounts to a worthless ass booty call.

 

@TheTheoryofMia

 

When it comes to a woman’s right to use oral contraception, to have or not to have a child we have to remember that these are choices that should neither be taken lightly or selfishly.  Over the years this discussion has been one that has divided households and left us playing GOD.  I believe that every life should have the right to become a life and live.  However, I do not profess to know all the answers and I feel that sometimes we get so caught up in pushing our own agendas to the point that no one is listening to each other and the real problems and consequences are never addressed.

We as Americans have a very beautiful and rewarding life in that we actually have the opportunities to vote and weigh in on most subjects and laws that we are governed by.  An opportunity that most people in other countries would never ever have the power to do.  Yet we take these privileges for granted.  Those of us deemed as the rich and powerful use them to take advantage of those that are not as economically advantaged to lay down our own “Law of the Land” and create a freedom that we dictate based on our own prejudices and beliefs.

 

@TheTheoryofMia

 

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